I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
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His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This is my gift to your gina
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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