Me too!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
