were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
