is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
