I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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