Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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