I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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