sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
