She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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