I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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