Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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