I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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