You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
