i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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