I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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