Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
