This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
