Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
