why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
