Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Houston, we have a squirter
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
