You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
