do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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