doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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