I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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