There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
bring money and cleavage
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
