she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
