He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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