I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
