My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Quick, to the slutcave!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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