Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
