it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
