I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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