Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize