no, he came in my armpit
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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