we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
