We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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