He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
