I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
