Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
