Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
