why didn't you poke me back
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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