And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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