I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
