Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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