You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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