I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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