I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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