does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
