In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
