why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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