Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
