Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
