I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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