I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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