just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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