In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
