Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
